Normal Service is Resumed

It’s a strange day on the Uckfield line:
They’re out on strike at the excuses mine;
No engine’s given up the ghost
And every driver's at his post.

No works have overrun,
No conductor choked on her bun;
No wrong kind of snow
Or floods to make the trains go slow.

No cow beside the track,
No truck to give the bridge a whack;
No line side fire,
And no-one’s nicked the electric wire.

But when no journey is in doubt:
What's left for us to talk about?
It's lonely on the Uckfield line,
Knowing the trains will run on time.

No signal box is stuck by lightning:
This punctuality’s getting frightening;
Civilisation's sure to crumble,
If we don’t get a good old grumble.

So there's a feeling of relief,
When trains are stopped by a falling leaf;
"Apologies for delays" the speakers boomed;
Normal service is resumed.