Below ground, a mother was lecturing her children. "This is our big chance to go up in the world and we must all be on our best behaviour."
Her husband, Ratty, reassured them "We're on the up. 'umans love us so much they leave takeaways specially for us. And look all around yer. They've left all these fantastic cracks in this sewer ..."
"Tunnel." declared mother firmly and looked sternly at the kits. "What ever you do, don't say sewer in front of the over ground folk." The youngsters squealed with excitement.
Their mother hushed them. "Remember the rules. No being seen or heard dancing by Humans." She emphasised the H.
Ratty added "And no eating fellow dancers."
Scabious, the youngest kit, shuddered as she imagined a fox pouncing.
A few minutes scamper along the darkest gutters and they arrived at the fairy garden. This garden guards the secret entrance to the dancing ground. It had been created by a human family who, sweetly, thought it was their own idea.
A rabbit peeped out from behind a wall. "Good to see you again Ratty. Lovely family. This way. Quickly! Now!"
"Was the dance named after the late Margaret Thatcher?" asked Ratty, trying to impress with news he had seen in a discarded paper.
"Who was she?" asked Bouncer, a large and slightly dim looking rabbit.
"She was King of the humans." replied old Brock. The badger went on, "No, the dance was named after the Princess who provided the prize. Well, when I say provided, my great-great grand father said she threw it away. He was the first badger to walk on his hind legs, you know." He would go on about it all night given half a chance.
A squirrel chattered "Who is the Master of Ceremonies this year? Surely it won't be Tawny again? Not after that unfortunate incident with the mouse?"
When he paused for breath, the rabbit replied, "A peacock is coming from the Other Side of the Road."
There were sharp intakes of breath all round. "Ugh!" grunted a young hedgehog. "He must be really brave."
The peacock strutted in with his tiny head held high. He was nervous but not because of the road. He knew that he was going to have to give scores and he wasn't very good at numbers.
Old Brock gave the trophy to the peacock. "You'll be giving that back by the end of the evening."
"No chance, matey." sneered a fox. "I was born behind a nightclub in Brighton and have taught my new pals some sharp moves."
They glared at each other. The rivalry between the badgers and the foxes had started with the first dance and had continued as houses engulfed their dancing ground.
The peacock fluttered onto a wall and announced the foxtrot. The band of grasshoppers, led by a blackbird, struck up the tune and the foxes whirled around the narrow road between the garage doors.
A squirrel nudged her sister as two handsome fallow bucks arrived, then turned to Scabious and remarked "Your costumes are brilliant!"
The crisp packet crackled as the young rat adjusted the rubber band that kept it in place and said. "Thank you. We copied them from Strictly Come Dancing."
The hedgehog looked sad and said that one of her children had choked on a rubber band like that. That stopped the conversation for a moment. The rabbit sighed "I wish humans wouldn't drop litter".
"I dunno." said Scabious, scratching. Her mother nudged her and glared at the errant paw. The youngster continued brightly. "We rats love litter, it's the next best thing to sewers."
Her mother's smile froze and she hastily changed the subject. "The foxes have finished. They're very good." A badger harumpfed and the bats took to the air.Their aerial display drew plenty of oooos and ahhhs from the younger animals.
A fox was rather critical "They seem rather ragged this year."
The badger's waltz was a stately delight. Such powerful animals but so much in love, even after all these years.
The rats went all out in a Samba. The mice clapped their encouragement knowing that no small animals ever won. The only question was - Would the badgers or the foxes take the trophy home this year?
The handsome deer found the narrow road rather cramped. The squirrels were sweet if a little out of time. The rabbits danced last but the effect was spoilt by the couples' over-amorous behaviour.
The peacock squawked to get everyone's attention and announced the top three. "In third place with four points, the rats. In second, with five points the badgers, and in first." He hesitated, frantically trying to remember, "First with five points plus another one, the Foxes."
The head fox stood up and bowed.
"Not so fast" said the peacock. Remember that points are deducted for those who disobey the rules. You and young Reynard were seen practising your steps by a human. For this I deduct two points, making", He looked down at his toes, "four."
The badgers looked unbearably smug.
"And," continued the peacock, glaring at Old Brock, "You. YOU, who should know better, allowed yourself to be seen, walking on your HIND LEGS, by a human." Brock hung his head. "For this I deduct one point." A quick glance at the toes, "Making four."
The badgers and the foxes glanced at each other. Would there be a dance off? With light rimming the Eastern skyline, time was running short.
"However" said the peacock, "I thoroughly commend our newest team, the Rats, for their costumes. For this I give them a bonus of two points making - six!"
Excited squeals greeted the news. Ratty pushed Scabious forward. The Peacock placed the engagement ring on her head, like a tiny crown, and said "Well done all of you. You've done your species proud."
Inspirations:
- A story told by one of the writers group about a badger walking on its hind legs
- Wild animals that I have seen in our garden and our estate
Two fallow deer that visit our Manor Park garden.
- Humans' habit of discarding food, then moaning about vermin
- Rumours that there is a feral flock of peacocks somewhere in Uckfield
- A fairy garden built by a local family - featured in the One Dad 3 girls blog
- A story that Princess Margaret broke off her engagement round our way somewhere.
